I'm having a bad weekend

The depression part of bipolar is not sleeping but a few hours a night (or sleeping non stop) and then just laying in bed crying for no reason at all besides the fact that your brain chemistry is off and ruining your whole weekend because you can't seem to pry yourself out of bed even to take a shower and you snap at everyone for any little thing and you feel completely useless because shit needs to be done and you can't seem to motivate yourself to do it no matter how much you want to. I'm having a bad weekend.

I could barely drag myself out of bed yesterday but I did manage to do the dishes and cook dinner. I got into a spat with my SD over a fucking meatball that she wouldn't split with her brother and I could tell the whole thing pissed off my BF when she went crying and stomped up the stairs. (Seriously, it was the last one, share!) I'm stressed over money, I feel like shit because my bf is about to start working 10 hour shifts 6 days a week, today is his only day off and I can't seem to climb my ass out of bed or stop crying so he is at the laundry mat washing our clothes which makes me feel even worse because I'm a pos who can't function. I haven't even bathed in 3 days because it just seems like an impossible task for some reason. Why does bathing seem so hard? I wish I could get food delivered to my bed because right now it would take a crowbar to get me out, like I will just deal with the hunger pains.

Take this zen shove it.

So I've been having a shit day and my nerves are shot so I decided I'm going to do some yoga and guided meditation and try to breathe and OM this shit down. I go downstairs clear everything out of the way and the sound on my TV won't come on.WTF. I fuck with all of the cords for 5 minutes plugging and unplugging everything and nothing.The cursing begins. Frustrated I unplug everything plug it all back in and tada, it works, Awesome, lets get this OM shit going. I pull up my Fire TV and try to sign into my account and it keeps telling my email is not registered. What.The.Fuck. I begin to curse at my TV yelling "Yes it is you cock sucking piece of shit!". Deep breath. I go back up stairs to my computer and log into my email and verify a bunch of shit and go back downstairs and it lets me log in. Sweet. I find a video that looks promising and hit play. A few breaths while trying to bat Smeegle away and the video suddenly goes back to the home screen. You have to be fucking kidding me. I start the video and try to fast forward to where I was at and fast forwarding isn't an option...Okay try to remain peaceful and calm, I could use the extra breathing anyways. I start from the beginning and get about 2 minutes further and it does it again. I inhale deeply gritting my teeth and start over. 2 minutes past the last point it does it again. At this point I swear to god I'm going to rip somethings head off, all I want to do is some muthafuckin kumbaya breathing and relaxation. Cursing in a way that would make Andrew Dice Clay blush I now go reset my internet connection and choose a different video. Everything is going good, I'm about 5 minutes into the video, Smeegle has stopped trying to headbutt me in downward facing dog and freezes and the cuts off. It took everything in me not to throw my remote through the TV.