The depression part of bipolar is not sleeping but a few hours a night (or sleeping non stop) and then just laying in bed crying for no reason at all besides the fact that your brain chemistry is off and ruining your whole weekend because you can't seem to pry yourself out of bed even to take a shower and you snap at everyone for any little thing and you feel completely useless because shit needs to be done and you can't seem to motivate yourself to do it no matter how much you want to. I'm having a bad weekend.
I could barely drag myself out of bed yesterday but I did manage to do the dishes and cook dinner. I got into a spat with my SD over a fucking meatball that she wouldn't split with her brother and I could tell the whole thing pissed off my BF when she went crying and stomped up the stairs. (Seriously, it was the last one, share!) I'm stressed over money, I feel like shit because my bf is about to start working 10 hour shifts 6 days a week, today is his only day off and I can't seem to climb my ass out of bed or stop crying so he is at the laundry mat washing our clothes which makes me feel even worse because I'm a pos who can't function. I haven't even bathed in 3 days because it just seems like an impossible task for some reason. Why does bathing seem so hard? I wish I could get food delivered to my bed because right now it would take a crowbar to get me out, like I will just deal with the hunger pains.
No comments:
Post a Comment