Can't sleep, repetitive thoughts of stupid shit and frustration of trying to remember what the repetitive thought that you had last night that kept you awake but you didn't write down because it was so repetitive you figured there was no was to forget it. Yeah. It just sucks because I was kinda feeling balanced and hopeful of getting my life back together and a week off doesn't seem like a big deal but it is. I will have to fight with my brain to take my meds because manic me won't want to and paranoid me will freak about the side effects. Then I will have to adjust to them again because I will feel doped and brain for and zombie like until I "adapt" and it will take a while before I stabilize again. It's a pain in the ass. 24 hours off and I'm slipping but it takes about 2-3 weeks on to be "stable". It's just frustrating, I just want my life back and control over my brain and emotions and moods.
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